~ it can't rain all the time ~

the sky won't fall forever

the last painting at ingesund. feels somewhat sentimental.
i'd watch the crow. but. there's no night here, it's soon midnight and all i see is only central-swedish blue-greyness. and. i can't cry at daytime, it evokes bad memories. well, i use to shed some tears watching the crow and have no intention of changing this state of being.

on friday i'll have my night back.

~ clothe yourself well for the wind ~

i didn't. i chose not too.
i don't want to defend myself anymore.

strange days. inspiration comes and goes. colours invade from everywhere around. the stillness is overhwhelming.
i have to leave just when i've started feeling so well here and found people i know i'll miss.

i don't care about explanations.
when leaving is a come-back and a come-back - leaving, it feels vague. i feel i'm floating. maybe because of last night's party. drifting. maybe because i pretended to be otto von bismarck. although i thought the very same thought i use to think when i'm resting my head on the pillow after a party.
my fingers glide over my skin, i'm dulled by unreality thudding down these white walls. a huge night ray descends on me. i can't move.
maybe this evening is just a headache.

i'm thinking about bridges.

we took ourselves out of our hands
we couldn't have explained
danger better

~ son et lumière ~

so turn off your phone and bring some sheets

so this is a place where young lovers meet

hey, i cried to this clip last night, can't stop watching it.
why do sad love stories seem so much more real than happy-ends?

i'm listening to this song, looking at that flashing mobile screen and hands. throat. but mostly hands. reading their charge.

thinking.
about soulmates i'll never meet.
because they're gone. an accidental death. a stupid underestimation. a bus someone missed. a glimpse someone misunderstood. a smile someone overlooked. a calling someone didn't hear in city's noise.
about happiness that can be cut off in a second, when one truly believes that a miracle is happening now and that nothing can go wrong. and runs with hands full and flushing cheeks just to crash his head into the asfalt ground a moment later. eyes dimmed, lips frozen halfway through a word that yet a while before had meant everything.

anger at people who don't dare to feel and do is a secondary feeling. hurt and disappointment preceed it.
i believe i'm not the only one who understands that, truly, human life is unbelievably fragile, while fortune ruling it - cruel and unpredictable. that in the blink of an eye we can lose everything that we love and that fills our reality with meaning. sometimes though i feel as if i was alone in not wasting time for cowardly excuses and stepping back.

oh, sam
oh, sam

and now i've just come to this thought -
- that death doesn't take what already belongs to her. she's not the least interested in living dead people or emotional zombies, because she already owns them. she turns her eyes towards the ones who radiate with warmth and life - the britghter light, the greater greed she feels.

it feels heavy but i remember,
world can end in a second.