~ kawa z deszczem ~

.pogłos

~ serenade the dawn ~

for the dark finds ways of being
engraved in the light

hey, I DID IT! ;D
i changed my wallpaper & colours after over 6 years!
still can't believe i don't see my silvery nightwish moon over water and woods there, with all the rainy, nightly tones.
well, now it's eric who paints my night sepia and late october.

the now we will run with smiles
the morrow will heal the night so
morning comes

~ maybe we are the damaged ones ~

it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange

~~~~~

last weekend's shopping prey:

2 heads
3 copper witchpots & a plate
5 black feathers
hawaii oslo dvd
'russian aristocrat' belt
a suscpiciously existential vinyl cd
a 1980-sweden's-first-cloudy-emoboy vinyl cd
oldschool cognac leather suitcase
sinful teas, chocolates and cookies

~~~~~

it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange





it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange
it's good i'm strange


it's you or none

~ another story girl ~

now, tell me who browses google graphics in the middle of the night to search for pics of library from disney's beauty and the beast. euphemisms, please.

the vision of bella sliding on a ladder from shelf to shelf just flashed through my mind in a moment of blankness, but it was enough.
picture found. it seems a bit overwhelming and cold now. tripped over some other one, from a theatre show, i guess. try to ignore the eyefucking pinkness of beauty's dress. and yes, i know i could say tasteless instead of this filthy neologism. or anything different in so called higher register, but... oh, fuck it.

then came a memory of me that for two highschool years used to read while walking. to school, and back, and to the club meetings, to bus stops, just going and reading... if it didn't rain. if it rained, it was fun as well.
nope, never got under carwheels then, never crashed with anyone, nothing of this style. sorry ;) now it feels sentimental and sweet.

and what a feeling it was - me sinking in ann of green gables or secret garden time after time, and seeing this paradise library with two deep, soft armchairs and a fireplace. i don't know whether i added a white piano at one of these lovely, high windows or if it stood there originally, but i always include it in my fantasy.
scent of books with yellowed pages, image of fingers that ran over them before me.
and a my blueberry nights quote (there was a better one, though):

- you're hopeless.
- you're hopeless too. /smile/

~ the essential denied ~

i wish i had home.

life i experience tries very hard to convince me i am not to be happy.
i'm not listening to its curses. it costs me a lot.

i heard cruel words today.
crushed, i'm wondering how i am to be human if i'm being denied the most basic things that make a person to a human. as simple as a microsoft paint picture drawn with use of laptop´s touchpad only.

i wish i had home.
i wish i knew the meaning of words that are so obvious for everyone, but obscure for me.
i wish only a few things, in fact.
they're sung from behind clenched teeth.

in the wild wild wailing of wind
there's a house 'neath a soft yellow moon.

i hope.

~ erokitty ~

the day lost has just become the day found.
remarkable how hope can be blown away by a wind from a safe direction. how it can be revived by a breeze that you would never expect to appear here.
a short novel bit by cortazar, just a piece of a sentence.

8 x 8 is a variation. or a dog.

to stop believe is to die.
to stop believe is to kill.
i guess that's what peter pan is about. it has suddenly become the core thought of this novel for me:

when you stop believe in fairies, one of them dies.

it can be anything. a friend. love. scent of a freesia. guardian angels. ability to fly. goodness. authenticity (truth is too pretentious). beauty.
but - what if barrie was too diplomatic to express the idea in its full extension?
that if we stop believe in a person, he or she dies.
or maybe a part of him/her.
maybe the most important part.

i'm listening to my 'saddest songs ever' playilist, smiling. that's the first time it happens.
the erokitty picture comes originally from my old ericsson. i made it to cheer up a friend with an mms. it's cheerful, bouncy, upside down, very arionic. blue colour makes it serene. balanced. it brings warmth and peace. freedom.
that's the reason why the kitty is here.