~ flash-never-back calac & polanco ~

two wine(sic!)glasses crashing against a bridge of oslo. thrown behind the backs of two stray girls. danced in the almost-first snow of oslo, outside, in the wind, under snowfakes falling into their hair. the only mermaids that were ever able to dance without any pain in their knees. eyes on them. why should they care. 

true angels only meet on the edge, and they're not white

glass filled with black rum. bottom up, my dearest  friend! and a throw behind you. never to come back.

without the past, not caring about the future, which will come anyway. will we get fired from out workplace tomorrow for our wild latino dances? don't think so. this is what your rules are worth, world.

there were two girls who drank the black rum bottom-up on a norwegian bridge. a snowfall. glass splintering against the street surface. we - the centre of universe, for a second, and the universe acknowledging that. for a second.

having stuck a whole in my skirt-trousers garment. i'm gonna sew it together RED. for everyone to see. THIS GIRL IS RECYCLED and she knows what your religions mean.

everything was meant to be.

fate or coincidence. it's just a matter of perspective.

and after roof toasts, after a wild pirate ride in a broken apocalyptic lift, after a gift of heart - a fortune-telling from one of the books of our lives, translated simultaneously:

when there was a time he could come down, much further, the corner was a corner as almost always in The City, gates and arcades disappeared in the distance, and in the background there was beginning of a commerce city with its towers and with the flash

and then she's abandoned the book and forgot the page number. the future obscure. the glass left behind, never looked back at. drunk in the middle of the road, with car-lights coming closer. where does their courage spring from?

tread in, girls.
whoever you think you are.
there is a one to see you.

to remember a teaching without remembering the lesson.
no, it didn't look that nicely.

~ false sunrise ~

this evening i've been walking oliwa's narrow streets.
darkness. stillness. leafless trees. glittering pavements. black cat. rain.

face your fears and pierce the night

i was singing katatonia and david sylvian. then pink floyd.
soon i've realized. i looked around.
nobody.

no one living like in cortazar's novels. nobody wandering those alleys at night. just me. and the wind.
overwhelming loneliness and longing.
raindrops on my lips. and a smile. this strange one.

everytime i passed a lightlime, or a tree, i got this urge to embrace it, have a rest. at last. a utopia of laying down the weapons. a bliss of closing eyes, off guard. this lightness.
unreachable.

i let the eyelids fall cause it's another false sunrise - i feel the warmth but i can't see the light. or the other way round.

so... so you think you can tell

~ erokitty ~

the day lost has just become the day found.
remarkable how hope can be blown away by a wind from a safe direction. how it can be revived by a breeze that you would never expect to appear here.
a short novel bit by cortazar, just a piece of a sentence.

8 x 8 is a variation. or a dog.

to stop believe is to die.
to stop believe is to kill.
i guess that's what peter pan is about. it has suddenly become the core thought of this novel for me:

when you stop believe in fairies, one of them dies.

it can be anything. a friend. love. scent of a freesia. guardian angels. ability to fly. goodness. authenticity (truth is too pretentious). beauty.
but - what if barrie was too diplomatic to express the idea in its full extension?
that if we stop believe in a person, he or she dies.
or maybe a part of him/her.
maybe the most important part.

i'm listening to my 'saddest songs ever' playilist, smiling. that's the first time it happens.
the erokitty picture comes originally from my old ericsson. i made it to cheer up a friend with an mms. it's cheerful, bouncy, upside down, very arionic. blue colour makes it serene. balanced. it brings warmth and peace. freedom.
that's the reason why the kitty is here.