~ secret daughters of europe ~

materia in transit

souls in transit

you can't always make it pretty

a mouse trap, eyes of a murdered doll, old keys

what doesn't fit together of itself

can fit perfectly in a hand

memory lost

bars mean no security

are frontiers

spill the parts, gravity is beautiful

recompose

~ vollmond ~

this is too close, far too close


are you afraid?

are you scared?

if you are not, look again

and deeper, focus

now, you see?

which way will the sunflower turn surrounded by millions of suns

are you scared?

if not, you should be

if yes, be brave

which way will the blindgirl turn surrounded by millions of eclipses

~ i mean you ~

and each time i will come

each time i'll be another

a sinner, a saint

your enemy, brother

the rush of freedom when a perceived part of you, a deeply true one gets expressed for the very first time - a thrill from the depths of an ocean reaching the surface, rucking it up, revealing its inner movement, released with an unheard sound.

whatever the face, its expression is constantly beautiful as reflecting the deepest truth.

it's an ascending shiver.

the wodnica who has finally found her way out to the surface

through the channels of ritual photography

will she sing?

~ inferno ~

ziemia
chyli się ku mnie

to a find a cooler place in the grass...

~ what happened to us ~

love is the law?

emotional cynism. sticky laziness.
odour of half-feeling deadmen made me want to throw up this morning, altogether with all those lifeless emotional compromises. undelicate. able to stain anything with their own cowardice.

my blood denies!
i wanted to cry myself out of my body today.

is there any place to breathe left?
was de sade right: is violence the rule of life?
instead of love.

an overwhelming domination of proofs against my beliefs punches me to the ground with cold cruelty.
i can hear bones crack.
there comes the first drop.
the scale i'm sitting on is racing down.

master, are you taking sides?

~ like the leaves on the wire ~

for we are built
trained
conditioned

to disappear

~ a legacy of unrest ~

and it feels like fall again
we've sealed this feel again

today was truly magical.

first - the last day of moving into my parents new flat.
second - tomorrow i'm moving to gdańsk for studies. again. a room for 8 months. and then - boxes, bags and luggage. as usually. as a bit for too long - i tend to think more and more often.

but.
today was magical.
today was beautiful.

it's autumn here. my soul is autumn, so i feel more than well, a bit at home everywhere outside because it's so breathtaking. the scent of leaves. the colours. the sky, the wind, the rain.

today i stood at the crossing with my brother and a car drove into a puddle and stained us a bit. we jumped backwards and cursed "KURRWAAAA!" in the same moment, same intonation, with a max synchronization with nescafe papercups in our hands.
that felt warm and sweet.
to have a sibling like that. i love him very much.
later, when he sat in the car, i stroke his arms leaning against driver's seat and told him i like him.
like you too, he replied.
that felt warm and sweet.

today i smiled to people and sometimes they smiled back.
that felt warm and sweet.

today i walked through my beloved highschool's yard, and then through the park i feel very sentimental and somehow sweet about. the rain poured. i got soaked. watched fallen leaves glittering of water on the asfalt way. the scent of leaves filled my nostrils, again. raindrops fell into my coffee. then i saw a double rainbow over my head. i got cold but it meant nothing.

that felt warm and sweet.
almost like happiness.

the falls and crashes of my life taught me to find everything in almost nothing.
and i think - it's a warm, and a sweet thing to do.
i think that's what life is about.

we do not pause, we do not rest
so do not speak, please do not test