don't want to start any blasphemous rumours
but i think that god's got a sick sense of humour
a question:
why do i always turn blakian at the break of winterend up thinking of lions and black birds high up in the sky
this time: of a lion and a black bird high up in the sky
a feeling:
the chess-pieces are movingwhere to?
and this fox? september fox of oslo. september fox of paris that looked just like me.
a me that knows not. with eyes wide open recognizing no shapes, knowing nothing, just like a child. only i can't look like a child does anymore - i'm not a tabula rasa, i'm a palimpsest. a one that recreates itself, and each time, even if it becomes a new sheet ready to be written on, it gets heavier. by the ink it has contained, by the number of recompositions, by the crash of bonds broken. i feel like i'm on my way under a printing press. in a way i really want it. i wonder if only girls can be this self-destructive.
so, flicker, this page is not clear - it's only empty.
flicker -
flicker -
when i die i expect to find him laughing
some of us are inexplicably&immoderately self-destructive. unfortunately, i still dont know whether there is anything we can do about it.
ReplyDeletethe only thing to do about it, mru, is to live on.
ReplyDeletedream on. these girls live more intensely than the others.
you surely have noticed that the ones with the longest nights behind them are also the ones that can experience light in its greatest lucidity. after all, a thimble-sized heart will never be able to feel love like a shrine-sized one. to experience things you need to prepare. to take, you need to learn how to contain. hold.
most people just focus on grasping, don't they.
such a passion and intensity sometimes are ohsotiring, so iwanttorunaway. and still they're the only thing that makes this life worth living.
ReplyDeleteunbelievable need to experience?
hm (; why not? humanity lies in perception & empathy. important to remember, however, that life lies in balance. i don't want sound all the time, i also need silence. the whole world consists of these binarities, the art is to realize that they don't really exclude each other. it's only an easy thinking habit for weak moralities.
ReplyDeletebut yeah. i am on the verge of falling apart most of the time.
it's gone once you find harmony.