~ repeatedly inside of me ~

do you know the raindrops pearling on the windowpane

when the weather is changing so quickly that they become

a filter for a perfectly blue sky. can you remember

these thirsty winter walks when you are waiting

for the rain to come back. the prime sign of things changing

the glow of the first warm shower

do you know the sound of strings when you stroke them with fingers

still soft from rain

~ afterglow ~

sometimes a journey makes you realize better the place that you have just left. this is what i would call draught of the bus aisle i sensed. this is when the dots joined: the last months of via negativa, the last weeks of emptying all of my inner rooms, the last days of all their windows flying open and letting air in and through. 

so thank you, iceland, for the wind. thank you for the first rays of light to fall on this rainy film, from the sky that is a bit closer to our steps and our wishes than anywhere else in the world. finally, thank you for the song i was able to play again, almost perfectly, effortlessly, irrationally. i am sure my fingers slid over the steel strings by your smile stretching under their tips. by your longing. thank you for this surprise, i will always imagine the floorboards of this song stretch over your kind, solid ground. and the warmth of it.

for finding a true friend feels always like a come-back.

for a dear song returned.
for the stones that lent me warmth.
for the rocks that drew my blood.
for the wind that brought me breath.
for the rains that soaked.
and for the blue that poured.

thank you.

~ empty glass of milk ~

not much following the brush or pencil lately, but definitely following the eyes.
as they meet the floor, the Infanticidess rises.

to recycle a pure value from the dust of a generation. to liberate it from the purgatory of the past dates. through an act of violence on the liminal grounds - let them speak. let them settle. the eyes, the hands, the lashes. let them reach the completion through dismemberment. the moment when killing becomes a dawn of a new life. does it ring a bell?
be so or not - see you soon in my new vision, have a foretaste. and until then -

remember, hardy tin soldier

damaged people are dangerous

they know they can survive

hear
the inevitability of locks and zippers

the sound of future dragged behind

~ the last border ~

how come the most shady minds are the most free ones as well?

can it be that stars breathe darkness for life, sun being the greatest of them?

it is silent here now, but i am not mute.

this non-utterance is just a space preparing for all that will fill it up.

soon. the crow is hovering. it sees.

the lion walks upon the grass.

~ jane sparrow's tambourine ~

so… seems like there comes some massive painting sessions, got the place that i wanted. if i'm surprised? not at all, but it's nothing i could say i've expected either. it was one of these choices that are unexpectedly enlightening when they come, completely illogic when you consider them, and just perfect when you live them. once you've recognized it, you follow it.

and now, this entry is a thanksgiving one. right now i am thinking of each and every single person that believed in what i create. i abandoned drawing for many years, it was a bit like forgetting who, and more importantly - HOW, i am. you reminded me of myself. you saw what i didn't notice. you showed me that what i do matters. that it changes a day of your life, or even a minute. that you feel at home in some corners of my soul where i thought i was solitary. you were the dots that, after joining, stretched in a line that guided me.

i am where i am because of you. i love this place and no words can contain the gratitude i feel for you. this is something i will always remember, creating will be the way of giving back what i owe. with full heart.

anyway the wind blows, time to take out the hawaii shirt!

today i am Stinky dancing with the tambourine, rolling down a green hill and inviting the world to join.

~ gone to earth ~

the air kept on pulsing with om and the square became still. people who were talking loudly a few minutes ago, passer-bies, the ones sitting around and chatting - went still and observed. when i opened my eyes a few times, some faces were lit-up and smiling. peaceful.

the sun played with hair and knees in the circle, with toes, ankles and the corners of our lips. the light inhaled with harmonized breaths. lately i feel like persephone wandering earth's surface, the smallest thing makes me smile, or nothing, like today. in my head there is this picture from my hometown, a place where i used to go - two old railway viaducts and the stairs inbetween. leading up, bringing down. 

my pupils are clear now and my heart is beating, even if in a different way. there are oxygen particles circling in my veins and i feel them dance, their colour is glow. i love wherever i am. back to the state of vision. held and carried by the water.

rest in your arms. breath in your heart. the healing place.

~ the night we never met ~

the task was: draw something you use daily and cannot do without

i drew a knife

a hand is what it creates

isn't it

with may back, in yet another place

a fragrance known and foreign at the same time

a kind of peace you only feel after a long, unrelenting battle

scent of mirabelle blossom mixed with rain and soil

beyond